i feel left behind and abandoned, like the puppy that has grown up.
is it just me, or is it meant to be this way?

fo

so i started

a journal/sketchbook again.
it's helping a lot actually. i'm going to see if i can fill this composition book up before i go and get a nicer journal. who knows.

i've started hundreds of journals, but i've never filled any of them out completely. haha.

To see a wall in your dream, signifies limitations. obstacles and boundaries. There is a barrier obstructing your progress. You may be too accustomed to your old habits and way of thinking.


To see a brick in your dream, represents your individual ideas and thoughts. Experience and/or heartbreak may have hardened you.


To dream that you are walking through a desert, signifies loss and misfortune. You may be suffering from an attack on your reputation. Deserts are also symbolic of barrenness, loneliness and feelings of isolation and hopelessness. The desert landscape may also be a metaphor for feeling deserted and left behind.


To see a puppet in your dream, suggests that you are allowing others to control you. You are easily swayed by others and feel that you can not stand up for yourself.


To dream that you are alone, indicates feelings of rejection. You may be feeling that no one understand you.


I truthfully believe my dreams. 
is it always this way? seriously.

it sucks

i'm drowning in my own sorrows, and i can't help it.
i need to feel sorry for myself to keep me going throughout the day.

this blog is nothing but filled with whiny complaints of my life, and nothing else.
isn't that a problem? i'm a whiny 15 year old girl, who has nowhere to go, nowhere to be.
i need to get up, and get out, or i'm going to explode and die.

To dream that you are having trouble getting dressed, indicates that someone is trying to cause your problems and stress in your waking life.

my dreams are creepy

i've had other ones, but i'll interpret them later.
but i'm interested in this dream.

To see the police in your dream, indicates a failure to perform or to honor obligations and commitments. The police also symbolizes structure, rules, power, authority and control. Perhaps you need to put an end to your reckless behavior or else the law will catch up to you. You fear punishment.To dream that you are arrested by the police, suggests that you feel sexually or emotionally restrained because of guilt. The dream may also be a metaphor that you are feeling apprehensive about something.

To see a wolf in your dream, symbolizes survival, beauty, solitude, mystery, self-confidence and pride. You are able to keep your composure in a variety of social circumstances and blend into any situation with ease and grace. You are also a loner by choice. Negatively, the wolf represents hostility, aggression, or sneakiness.�It may reflect an uncontrollable force or situation in your life. �To dream that you kill a wolf, indicates betrayal and secrets being revealed.

To see a canyon in your dream, represents your unconscious mind and hidden feelings. It may point to emotions and relationships that you did not recognize.

To dream that you are fighting to the death, indicates that you are unwilling to acknowledge a waking conflict or your own inner turmoil.� You are unwilling and refusing to change your old attitudes and habits.

To dream that you are wielding a sword, represents your ambition, competitive nature decisiveness and will power. You seek to hold a position of prestige, authority, and distinction. Alternatively, the sword can be seen as a phallic symbol and thus represent masculine power.

To dream of your own death, indicates a transitional phase in your life. You are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Alternatively, you are trying desperately to escape the demands of your daily life.

To see or dream that you are a character in a video game, suggests that you are feeling controlled and manipulated by others. You feel that you have no control over your actions or are not taking responsibility for them.

To dream of prehistoric times, suggests that your thinking and beliefs may be outdated. Alternatively the dream may indicate your need to adapt and incorporate what you have learned in the past to the present.

To dream that you are climbing a steep rock, signifies struggles, obstacles, and disappointments.

but

what could the sheep even mean?

it makes me wonder.

i need to start keeping track of my dreams.

i hate this feeling of deadness within me.

you know, we can be mad at eachother, or we can happy and awesome.
i'm tired of going into school having the mind "is she there? is she mad?" and everyday, i go in to see the same face.
this is what we've become. we can only communicate through facebook.
what friendship is that?
it's lost all credibility.

i want to share

that i don't know what happened.

but today was a pretty bad day.

I'd forgotten what it was like to feel loved.
I still don't know what it feels like, and I don't know if I ever will.

All in all, I haven't cried like that that in months and months.

i need to stop.
and calm down.

it's not bad. it's not bad at all, right?

i need to relax,
and see what happened.
and forget about it.
and enjoy life.

i need to.

sometimes i wish i could say anything, and everything i ever wanted to say.
but i won't, because i'm too afraid of what the other person will think.

it's like, i will never say "I love you" because i'm afraid of what their reaction will be.
no matter how much i want to tell you,
i never will say what i want to say,
because i'm sitting here saying what you want me to say.

hey, that's dana.
we used to be really good friends, then who knows what happened.
it was a beautiful friendship,
and who knows if it's really falling apart.
maybe it's just me,
but i have the feeling that nothing will be the same after this year.

i'll

completely come clean someday.
someday you'll see.
someday i'll see.

jack

i highly doubt you read my blog, but text me if you ever ever ever read this.
:|

we have a lot to catch up on.