in this case, i don't feel like the best friend.
i feel like the 3rd wheel again.
who has been your friend for so many years? who holds your secrets and your 2nd life?
i am. or was.
i LOVED you? what was i thinking? here i sit, trying to talk to you, and i get nothing.
i try to converse again, and i get minimal replies.
why? because you're talking to her.

i love both you, or something like that.
but it's arghles. how can i live with this? knowing that you would rather her be your best friend, and not me?

my life is crumbling before me, that wall is decompsing and building up again.
blocking you out this time.
keeping you out.
keeping the memories.
the past.
the good times.
out with the bad and what i don't want.

i can only think, do i want you to stay or to go?